Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Tonight I went to see David Copperfield at the PPAC. The PPAC has to be my favorite venue. I have seen Phantom of the Opera there...front and center! I think it has got to be the place to see a show...just the right size..you feel cozy but not lost. So I gotta tell ya...as a 40 something, very jaded crone...I sat there like an 8 year old in utter amazement. I know that is is illusion, magic...smoke and mirrors. I think I found such an affinity because it is like my life...don't look too close....my whole life has been unreal.....I have loved and thought I was loved and I was not. I have been betrayed by the ones I had the most trust for. I am a duplicious child who no one really knows and most would be aghast learn about. I am not being dramatic, I am being truthful. Twice in the past year or so I have been told by 2 different people the value of being normal. I have never been, as much as I have longed, to be normal. I fear at times that pople will diescover my abnormalities. Am I wrong to think that it makes me unloveable or unable to love? I may be being silly...it is the mood I am in...but I am merely thinking aloud....re read the header if you forgot where you are. hahahahaha! But still I wonder about the illusion of my life and where it will lead me. I can only be who I am and I have fought too hard in this life for this girl named Brenda K to let her sink into the murky depths unnoticed or with the slight turn of a mirror appear as if she never appeared at all.....



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