Well….I am a little behind this year. I have this usually out and about by this morning but, as I have explained before, sometimes things have to kind of cook in my head before I get it down. I am thinking about unconditional love and friendship. This also makes me think about what it means to be a friend. Not a new theme for me by any means, but one that I always think about at this time because that what this is all about, paying a sort of homage to my friends.


I look back on this past year and think how very different it would have been without the love and support of people who love me. My friends recognize that beneath all my brashness, bravado and BULLSHIT that I am a simple girl and that I love them so very much. I appear to be a very complicated high maintenance….I admit it I have grown into it. The reality is I am often humbled by my friends. I have just developed this philosophy about how the human race should behave to one another and while I am intelligent enough to realize that not every person is going to get along with every other person, I also so know that some people just can’t relent. That makes me sad. So here I sit, thinking and seeing the faces of those who I can turn to when I need a hug, or a shoulder and piece of sage advice.

There are also many that I have lost this past year….I hope that my incessant need to say what I am feeling as I feel it has not left me with too many regrets. I say ‘I love you’ even if it makes people uncomfortably but I think that have become accustomed to it. My ‘coffee buddy’ I miss you and your beautiful soul….Maybe this Christmas I will be able to hear ‘Silent Night’ and not cry a river, instead just smile and remember. My lil angel….blowing me kisses from the clouds and my neighbor whom I can still hear singing over the back fence. May God keep you all in his loving embrace and as you look down on those you love and who love you and sharing your love with us.

I will be drinking in many of the fine Irish drinking establishment in Boston later and if you’ve a mind…come and join me! I usually do not mention names but my first toast I feel I must…..

I raise my glass……..

To my youngest son Greg….this year I have watched you go through an incredible transformation…while I am so very proud of both my sons, Greg, you and I share so many secrets and ideas that I have already begun to mourn when you find your own life and I will not have the unlimited access to you that I know enjoy.

To my friend, small of stature who commands a great presence……you have shown me that anything is possible…Look at where we are from where we were a brief year ago. Astonishing.

To the one who took that chance with me. Our names rhyme and I hope to never hear one without the other. You always make me smile and our laughter is infectious.

To the one I look to for professionalism that I can only hope to one day attain. Your advice and unconditional friendship has been one of the best reasons to just keep plugging away every day. I so miss you when I don’t see you and enjoy each that we are together. I am always learning at your side.

I can’t not mention that absolute thrill I have had this year. I would love to be able to take each and every one of you and place you on a pedestal and shine a spot light on you because you have meant so much to me….here is to the one who I was so fortunate enough to be able to stand beside when the spotlight was shone on her. We go weeks without talking or seeing each other face to face…but when fate puts in close proximity to each other….it is a gab fest!

To the person who listens to my corny jokes and smiles. I love the times when you actually find them funny and you laugh out loud.

To the person(s) who see me and just open their arms for a hug.

To the person(s) who think of me. There can be no greater gift. I told my children that material gifts are fine but the true gift is that someone thought enough about you to spend the time and perhaps money to buy or effort to make you something. It is the fact that they thought highly enough of you to expend energy in whatever form. That is the TRUE gift, not the monetary value or the possession. I never let a good deed go unpunished!

To my friends and family that are more than an arm’s length away…never fear that I have forgotten your influence in my life and do not feel your love. I so enjoy watching babies that I once held, now holding babies of their own. Know that you are all in my prayers and thoughts daily.

So….I will cease to ramble and please be safe and feel loved.

Wishing you a rainbow

For sunlight after showers—

Miles and miles of Irish smiles

For golden happy hours—

Shamrocks at your doorway

For luck and laughter too,

And a host of friends that never ends

Each day your whole life through!



smooches

My dreams lie in my personal power. I inspire transformation, respect and support by discrete but charismatic example and tolerance. I am an instrument for dynamic, responsible, or passionate expansion that serves and protects the greater good of my legacy.
My legacy of Mother, Friend, Sister and Lover! I am master of the universe and I am empowered with the reputation of experience, credibility, skill, and momentum. I transform through integrity. I burn as brightly as the sun and those who approach are afraid of the heat.
Fear not, my love is both warm and comforting. Seek shelter and solace in my heart. I hover above like the moon, quiet and somber until all ignore my presence, but I am constant and remain. My sense of self is not reflected back from outside but wells up through my soul to radiate outward from within me. How else could I answer to no master but God? I am neither complacent nor passive, but I am noit moved to action unless summoned. Once summoned beware the magnetism of my passion. I am a force of nature to be reckoned and reconciled. As with time, I am marching forward. I can not settle down easily or be ocntented with the 'same old same old' of a routine...I want what I want when I want it....that is just me.
I love language...so many words to say not much at all really...now LAUGH DAMMIT!

Thinking....

People baffle me. If you ask someone what they want out of life, they usually give you a long oration on what it is they want. But many appear to have no ambition to put the 'sweat' equity into getting what they want. It's like they expect it to just HAPPEN or worse yet...somebody should just give it to them. This is a pervasive kind of attitude that has consumed our society. It makes no sense to me.

catching up!

ok I suck! I haven't blogged in half a year but there has been some major developments....I will update everything as soon as I ge the chance...Hope everyone had a blessed holiday!

Evaluating who I am!

Check out this picture.....I took it at the Salem Red Sox game on April 24th, 2009...I think it is patriotic! A flag at a baseball game!

I am so tired of studying....I have finals! BooHiss! So anyway, I wanted to write about anything...so here goes:

I am who I am. I am getting older and I think I am becoming a classic….I am middle class, an oldest child, overachiever, not a laborer and not a white collar either. I was born in the baby boomer era and grew up thinking that the world was my oyster-- only to find out that hamburger was what was on the main menu. I’ve experienced lost love and then love renewed. I have buried a parent and a brother, gave birth to my boys. I was too young to be a part of the 60's revolution but I enjoyed the Disco thing. I think that Republicans are stuffy and Democrats are too flamboyant so I identify myself as an independent. Radio ruled when I was young and TV wore itself out when I got older. I remember the times when I was able to go outside and play until I was told to come in and eat dinner. I was able to share kool-aid from the same glass as my friends and drink water from the garden hose and there was no scare of a disease. I am most comfortable in jeans and a T but I do like getting "dressed to the nines" sometimes. In social arenas, I can talk about politics or NASCAR with equal vigor and knowledge. When I was young I watched people die of diseases that would have been treatable today and I have beaten cancer twice. Now kids play Wii, everyone has a cell phone but still I remember my grand mother and how she often spoke of the old days. I remember hearing how John F. Kennedy was shot and I remember seeing my mother cry whenever she told me. I gratefully have seen people cry tears of joy, sorrow and happiness. I hated the memories of photos of soldiers returning from Vietnam in body bags and I hate the ones from Iraq even more. I loved the memory of watching black and white TV to see Armstrong jump on the moon. I have visions of seeing my elementary classmates scurry into the hallways only to crouch down and hide behind their lockers during Nuclear air-raid drills while the air defense sirens shrilled. I did not see the Berlin wall go up but had the incredible pleasure of watching it come down. I had an unshakeable faith and then I drifted, only to return to believe the single set of footprints in the sand was the time of my life when my Savior carried me. I try to never forget those that have sown their seeds into my life, and no matter where I go in life - I try to stay in touch with them one way or another. The sum of who I am comes from the pieces they have added to me. Yes I can clearly say I have lived a middle of the road kind of existence and to some extent these things have made me appreciate what I have, who I am and what I have to offer. The best part of this equation is that I still have a lot more to witness... God willing. smooches

ok.....I suck...I haven't blogged in over a month! Hey, I've been buzy! and I've been outta town! But do I got pictures.....so hold on.....I'll get everything up and you can leave me some feedback, if you haven't abandoned me yet! smooches

My Toast!

Ok folks…here’s the deal…I wrote a TOAST for St. Patrick’s Day as I do every year...…and I was going send it out last night…but I hesitated. Then this morning, again I was not satisfied. I came home from work and before I head out to my St. Patrick’s Day Bacchanal Fest, I had to re write it! I had written a liturgy on inspiration but I changed the topic….to laughter! So here it is and it goes to everyone in my email addresses....even my insurance agent!! hehehehe! some of you lucky buggers may even get it twice! I will post it on my blog as soon as i get the chance.....

How many of us realize that we have to laugh at ourselves. It is such a necessary part of dealing with the most insane situations that occur. Yesterday I got a flat tire and literally had to jog to make a very important meeting, in heels. A very nice lady stopped to offer me a ride, which I declined because one of my gals was coming to get me. The lady said to me, you look like you are going to be late for your own funeral. I could see myself in my mind and I started to laugh. I walked into the meeting 15 meeting late but I don’t think I missed much. Then today was the topper, I got up and got ready for work. I went out to start my car and it would not start. I checked everything. It was turning over but just wouldn’t start. I called the auto club and a sweet gentleman came to my house and we deducted that it didn’t need a jump and that possible it was a fuel issue. He put gas in my car….nothing. So I asked him to tow it to the garage at the end of my street. I left Dennis a note with the keys and my cell phone number. Now how to get to work…I called Mary and left a message. My lil Dodge truck is was gone, so I had no way to work. I called my friend Ann. She was just going to put V on the bus. I ask if I can borrow her GMC truck and could she come and get me. No Problem. In 20 minutes I am in her driveway. I hop out of her car and open the truck door, start it to warm for a few minutes. I go around her car to kiss my godson goodbye. I walk back to the truck and as I try to open the door, it won’t open. Ann and I just look at each other and start to howl. I have locked the keys in the truck and it’s running!! I cannot believe that I have to call the auto club again. Ann offers to stay with me but I send her off to the gym and I sit there for 25 minutes waiting and laughing at how stupid I am. I got through Friday the 13th with no incident and here I am on St. Patrick’s Day….which I might add has always been lucky for me….wondering WTF happened. To make a long story short, I got to work a little late.. But the really funny thing is…my car…Dennis calls me and tells me he can find nothing wrong with it. He has spent the day starting it and it is fine. I spend the afternoon with Betsy, singing and laughing, thinking that it’s all behind me! I walk down to get it when I got home from work and I drive it to my house and park it. I debate on whether to take the GMC back and decide I should maybe keep it. I get ready to do my South Boston Bar Crawl through the Irish pubs. Greg wants to go stay at a friends so I go out to start my car and it WON’T START! God help me…tomorrow I don’t have to be at work til 1 pm and its going to Joe Oliviera’s shop…he will find its problem. But so much for this…..I need a drink…so I gotta wrap this up….
To those that I laugh with everyday insanely….whether we are ‘stuck’ somewhere or not.
I raise my glass……

May joy and peace surround you,
contentment latch your door,
and happiness be with you now
and bless you evermore!

To the ones who make you laugh til you cry. To the ones who stop in the middle of a song that they are singing when you walk into a club and make you laugh. To the ones you just have to look at to crack up. To the ones who make you laugh even if you haven’t seen them in over a year or for years. To those whose laughter you hold in your heart. Never lose the ability to laugh at yourself, it is the best laugh of all. I love you all, smooches…..Brenda

An addendum: It is now Wednesday morning...I am nursing a hangover! I vaguely remember a little peson, male, dressed a s a leprachan! hehehehe....and can you believe it?...I can NOT find the keys to the GMC! Oh Lord bless me for I only do this once a year! so...I have to call and see if Ann will bring me the spares. I must have my car towed to the other garage.....and still I'm laughing because I know this the result of having way too much on my little mind! Keep laughing and have a blessed life!