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Monday, March 4, 2013

Eulogy for a Friend

Posting this here to remember......

Disclaimer---Not if there are tears…but WHEN there are tears…it is the love leaking out of my heart!
Is is indeed once again, a sad day for all of me. I am here to give reflections on my friend David. I think this sharing of my grief will help me continue to ease my burdens. David lived a relatively short, but none the less, an amazing life. I met him in the late 80's when our paths crossed at Paul A. Dever Developmental Center. I have been his RT for the past decade and I have been amazed by him almost daily. He faced challenged that few have to conquer once in their lifetime let alone everyday.but he always got life to come to him on his terms. What is it that we remember when we think of David? He was a man of paradoxes….he was non verbal but very vocal....he hated shoes but loved socks…he hated wearing shirts but liked to wear the sleeve...he didn't like loud noises unless he was making them…but you always knew when he didn’t like something. I think everyone who knows him would agree with me the most memorale thing was his sense of humor.... his playful obstainancy. I know that there is a tendency to remember all the good stuff and downplay the not so positive traits. but I can't talk about David with out talking about his ability to pluck your last nerve and I mean that in a good way. He would make you be creative. He would push your buttons. If you've ever been in the Dining room at Quinn when we were there, you would know what I mean. But then just as quickly he could wrap your heart around his finger. As many of his team have said on many occasions, Dave had a wicked pisser sense of humor. He did things to make himself laugh and if it made you laugh too...well then it would just crack him up. For example, One training day not too long ago, I found myself in apt 4 with an unfamiliar staff. David decided to take full advantange of the situation. He very stealthfully wiggled around in his chair until he was literally hanging, ready to fall. I went to reposition him and he started to laugh. I got him all settled and as soon as I went to walk away he tried to throw himself from the chair. Now he's convulsing with laughter to the point where we could hardly get him back into the chair. As soon as we got him settled again, he tried again. So I went and got the mat and put in under is chair. He kept trying and kept laughing at us. Finally I said to the staff, we;ll just put him on the mat on the floor. cause you can't fall off the floor. As soon as we put him on the floor, he literally rolled over and started to snore. I immediately suspected this was his intention all along. I know that David has meant something to each and every one of you, personally, I know that he will be one of my guardian angels. David's death was sudden. I remember when I heard the news I simply could not believe it. I have been griefstricken that I never got the chance to say goodbye. The last words I said to him were...'see ya tomorrow...it's your birthday!!' David was well-loved and while he may have had to deal with many challenges while he was here on Earth, and I’m sure he’ll whatever he pleases in heaven. I will forever be grateful to have known David. I will carry him in my heart always. So instead of grieving the chance that I never to say goodbye I celebrate that I was given the chance to say Hello. Thank you for listening.....

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