»

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I'm me...

Something happened today that reminded me that the only thing that I can control in this life is me. And I am amazingly consistent in my responses...I'm almost back to myself because I feel that burning in my stomach...that which I need....I NEED....I WANT....the familiar pangs of an addiction that I nurse.....a crushing craving for something that I will never have.....even Betsy saw it today I think....a flicker in my eyes... something.... a catch in my breath........but what she said made me laugh......for it's the thing I most desire and my greatest fear all rolled into one thing...for to get it...would be to lose it forever..I know this in my heart and in my soul....I have know this truth from the beginning......because I have seen nothing capture it so far and I suffer from no delusions that I can claim this beast ....I can run with the King of the Jungle if he lets me....but I have always been left in a state of wantoness...hunger......I get only the crumbs that fall and roll out of sight and the truth be known....those crumbs sustain me.

0 comments:

 

Free Web Hit Counters
Rent DVDs Online